tumblr giveaway of thirty iphones my mom bought me. i just have so many iphones i’m giving them away. also a gold watch. i also have four brand new macbook pros lying in my house i’m giving those away too. also one of my kidneys. and $312.56 in cash. must be following me and fourteen of my closest internet friends. i’ll check. u have until four months in the future so u forget that i started this giveaway and don’t get suspicious when u don’t hear of anyone winning.
people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked withi used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it
HOLY SHIT OKAY
a list of things remus lupin is good at:
- finding people to purchase pot from
- falling asleep with little or no warning, sometimes in the middle of class or conversations
- never brushing his hair
- smacking people in the face with his elbows when he’s excited about a story he’s telling
- making bacon sandwiches
- wearing mismatched socks
- remembering in which old book he can find very obscure spells or pieces of information
- giving head
- making terrible puns and cackling at them even when nobody else in the entire world thinks they’re funny
- winning arguments when he’s stoned
- being emotionally masochistic and overdramatic inside his head but never telling anyone else about his problems
- not holding children even when asked to pick them up
- making lists that he throws away ten minutes later
ur headcanon about children confused me but also gave me this mental image which is 100% canon.
I JUST SCREAMED OH MYOGGDO WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT REMUS LUPIN YOU DREW
guys stop unfollowing me i didn’t do anything
i’m so glad about this holy shit it made me laugh so hard at work, im going over the three sentencel imit, idc.
sirius squints at the driver in the car through the drive thru window and frowns; he is holding a bag with three tacos, a nacho bellgrande, two caramel apple empanadas, and a crunchwrap supreme, so he asks, unabashedly, “all of this is yours?”
"um," the driver says. his hair is curly and messy and when the wind blows, suddenly, sirius can smell the leftovers of the joint that was just finished, and understands, so the driver merely continues, "can i get, uh, fire sauce - like as much as you can give me - like so much that - just, a lot."
"oh my god," sirius says, laughing. "i - yes, okay. a lot." he turns away, and finds that when he’s gathered what by his definition is ‘a lot’ of sauce, the guy in the car is still staring at him. "so uh - are you okay?"
"how long is your hair?" is the abrupt reply, causing sirius to instinctively reach up and make sure his hat it on straight and his bun hasn’t fallen.
"oh - i don’t know? long?" this is the most bizarre conversation. the headset is still beeping in his ear and he ignores it.
"i like it."
"i’m wearing a hat," sirius says with a snort. "here is your food - " sirius hands him one bag, which the other guy takes " - and your sauce."
"wait!" the driver says, loud enough that sirius is startled, and puts a hand on his wrist still in the process of trying to give this poor stoned child his sauce. "i really like it. my name is remus. like - it looks good, in the bun."
sirius’s lips curl into a half smile, and he leans a little further out the window. remus’s hand on his wrist is warm and his fingers are calloused. “are you trying to hit on me in a drive through, remus?”
"i - yes, probably."
"well, you’re doing a piss poor job of it," sirius replies, cheerfully. "take your sauce and come back round in an hour and try again, hm?"
and so remus does.
((why is this happenign to me, why did i do this))